Making Impossible Leadership Decisions with Care and Decisiveness

One of the hardest days of my nonprofit executive career was during a reduction in force.

Others made the call to sunset a beloved program. It wasn’t an easy business decision but as a senior leader, I was part of the team that had to carry it out. Before implementing the reduction, I did whatever I could to advocate for those impacted so that the reduction was handled with care, and they were given as many benefits as possible to help them through the transition. After the calls were made, I just cried, knowing that I was part of a decision that changed several lives.

Someone I was close to called me as word began to spread about the reductions. Right after I said hello, she angrily launched in with: “How could you let this happen? Why would you do this?”

The tears began to fall again! I cared deeply about our work and was grieving the people and the program, too.  She gave me the space to cry and then said, “I am so sorry. I didn’t even stop to think about how this was affecting you.”

I share this now because nonprofit organizations are having to make a ton of very difficult decisions. Behind most hard decisions is a person holding grief, responsibility, their values, and commitments … and balancing that with doing what they think may be best for the organization.

I’m not saying every leader gets it right. DEFINITELY not saying that. We’ve all seen examples of poor leadership over the past few years, like CEOs doing insensitive mass layoffs over Zoom without empathy or compassion, then coming on LinkedIn to cry about it (while overlooking the real harm done to their teams).

But that’s not what I see in the nonprofits I work with every day.

Many of the leaders we work with are navigating tough situations with no easy answer, and I bear witness to the grief and heaviness that comes with those complex decisions. People don’t always see this because leaders are not supposed to show their weakness, so to speak … but I’ve been there, and it is hard AF.

If you find yourself frustrated by a tough leadership decision, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Caring and decisiveness can coexist. Many leaders are making impossible choices while still holding deep compassion for those affected.

• Grief exists on both sides. You may be mourning what’s lost, but usually, so is the person who had to deliver the news.

• Transparency matters, but it may not be possible for leaders to share the full picture. However, you could ask for background context to help shed a different light on how they came to the final decision.

I hope this helps you create a little more space for grace—and for yourself—during this tough season.